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Is it me? Or is it her? It's her, right? It's not me, is it?
Comcast now forces you to do a live chat when you order new cable or internet service. But I have a feeling that this is just a way for the operators to handle several calls at once. However, I have a feeling that this means they aren't giving anyone their full attention, leading to conversations like these:

Live Chat
Patrick_Kellogg has entered room
Comcast_Drone has entered room
Comcast_Drone: Hello Patrick_Kellogg, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Comcast_Drone. Please give me one moment to review your information.
Patrick_Kellogg: Hello this is Patrick Kellogg
Comcast_Drone: We appreciate your time and interest in signing up with Comcast. I will be happy to complete your order today.
Comcast_Drone: Hi, Patrick.
Comcast_Drone: How are you doing today?

Patrick_Kellogg: Thanks I'm looking for to having cable and internet at my new rented house
Comcast_Drone: That is great! Thank you for choosing Comcast to be your new service provider.
Comcast_Drone: Please confirm if the information below is correct:

Patrick_Kellogg: Yes, all of that is correct
Patrick_Kellogg: I need cable and internet... I don't need phone
Comcast_Drone: Thank you, Patrick. I will look for the right cable and internet packages for you.
Patrick_Kellogg: Also, I'd love a wireless modem for the internet
Comcast_Drone: Patrick, I have checked the current promotions in your area, and it appears that the Digital Double Play bundle is available.
Comcast_Drone: This includes Digital Starter cable and High Speed Internet for $69.99/month for 6 months.
Patrick_Kellogg: That internet package sounds great
Patrick_Kellogg: But I'd love Showtime and HBO as well, along with premium cable channels such as Logo
Patrick_Kellogg: (Sorry if I'm typing too fast)
Comcast_Drone: Alright, Patrick. The Digital Double Play bundle for $69.99 for 6 months does not include Premium channels. I suggest that we sign you up for Digital Premier cable for $84.99 per month for a choice of 6 months or 1 year, then internet can be added for $42.95.
Patrick_Kellogg: Hrm - I can't see what the "plus" part of Digital Preferred Plus is
Patrick_Kellogg: Otherwise I'd go for "Digital Preferred and 2 Premium"
Patrick_Kellogg: Is it high definition? That would be nice
Comcast_Drone: We can add the HD service, let me see the price.
Comcast_Drone: It shows HD service can be added for only $4.95 per month for 6 months.
Comcast_Drone: Its original price is $9.80 per month.
Patrick_Kellogg: Sounds great! So... what is the "Plus" part of Digital Preferred Plus?
Comcast_Drone: Do you want to sign up for our Digital Premier cable for $84.99 per month?
Comcast_Drone: Okay, if you prefer the Digital Preferred Plus, let me give you its included features.
Comcast_Drone: It includes up to 125 channels, plus HBO and Starz.
Patrick_Kellogg: How does that compare to "Digital Preferred and 2 Premium"? I thought Preferred PLUS gave me three premium channels
Comcast_Drone: Patrick, Digital Plus includes two Premium channels only, the Premier will give you all five Premium channels.
Comcast_Drone: The Digital Plus is $98.45 per month. The Digital Premier is $1102.20 per month but is currently offered for only $84.99 per month.
Comcast_Drone: You are also automatically enrolled to Customer Guarantee Program. If you are not satisfied and wish to cancel our service/s for any reason, you can do so in the first 30 days and get your money back, we will refund everything to you, including the monthly and installation fees.
Patrick_Kellogg: I am confused
Patrick_Kellogg: Here are the choices at your webpages at http://www.comcast.com/Customers/Clu/ChannelLineup.ashx?lid=4ProgrammingChannelLineups&lpos=Nav
Patrick_Kellogg: Digital Starter, Digital Preferred, Digital Preferred and 1 Premium (or 2 or 4 Premium), and Digital Preferred Plus (and Digital Preferred Plus and 5 Premiums)
Comcast_Drone: Patrick, I am sorry for the confusion, let me further explain each package.
Patrick_Kellogg: I asked you about the difference between Digital Preferred (regardless of the number of Premium channels) and Digital Preferred Plus
Patrick_Kellogg: I was curious as to what the "PLUS" part meant... does it include more regular (i.e. non-premier) channels?
Patrick_Kellogg: Or does PLUS have to do with hi-def?
Comcast_Drone: Patrick, let me explain. The Digital Preferred and Digital Preferred Plus have the same channels except for the Premium channels included only in the Plus package.
Comcast_Drone: The 'Plus' has to do with the Premium channels.
Comcast_Drone: Each cable package does not include Hi Def, it is an add-on.
Patrick_Kellogg: So... "Digital Preferred and 2 Premium" and "Digital Preferred Plus" are the EXACT same thing? That's really weird.
Comcast_Drone: Yes.
Patrick_Kellogg: Ok... since I only need 2 premium channels (HBO and Showtime) I'd love whichever of those two packages is cheaper.
Comcast_Drone: Patrick, let me clarify. The Digital Plus has default Premuim channels- HBO and Starz. Now, if you want a different Premium channels, then you can get Digital Preferred plus 2 Premiums.
Patrick_Kellogg: Sounds great! Digital Preferred plus 2 Premiums (HBO and Showtime), with the high-definition add-on, and then digital high-speed internet on top of that. Thanks!
Comcast_Drone: Okay, Patrick, I will get you Digital Preferred with HBO and Showtime. This is for $98.45. If we will add the HD service for $4.95 and internet for $42.95- the total is $146.35.
Comcast_Drone: If you want just one Premium channel, then you can get Digital Preferred $44.99 plus HBO $18.95 or Showtime $16.95.
Comcast_Drone: Since you want the one which is lower, we can choose Showtime over HBO. The total rate with internet and Hi Def included is $109.84.
Patrick_Kellogg: I would like both HBO and Showtime, as I mentioned
Patrick_Kellogg: Can't I get the package for $109.84, and then add HBO on top? That would be cheaper than the $146.35 quote
Comcast_Drone: Okay, I have a better way to lower your rate to include the Digital Preferred with HBO and Showtime, Hi Def, and internet.
Patrick_Kellogg: Sure! Please suggest something... I don't understand why you can't just give me the lowest price possible given my request. That is what I want.

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I have a DVD that instructs me on how to connect my DVD player ;)

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