• Mood: Judging
• Music: Four Tet "There Is Love In You"

MYBALLSUCAN Hold 'Em Results

Hello, and welcome to the MYBALLSUCAN Hold 'Em Poker Tournament!

Last Wednesday, I posted a puzzle that required people to spell a five-letter word that corresponded to a poker hand. Let's see how everyone did!

1. High card

harley  opens with BASED (2A654)
stickyboy  responds with AGILE (A79Q5)
kymutt  loves his ZEBRA (K525A) but that has a pair of 5s. so he is shown the door
ZILCH (K9Q38) for roxbear 
The amazing dr_tectonic  enters MILKS (K9QJ6)
progbear  tries MENTAL... but that has six letters, so he offers TAILS (7A9Q6)
thornyc  ASKED (A6J54)
ultramundanecom ? CLAIM (AKQ93)
Meanwhile, I (mudcub ) am BLACK (2QA3J)

Winner: the amazing entry by ultramundanecom  that has an ace, king, AND queen

2. One pair

stickyboy  likes NAMED (AAK54)
dr_tectonic  enters TUMMY (78KKQ)
ultramundanecom  responds with RAINY (AAQ95)
thornyc  submits ANISE (AA965)
mudcub  calls everyone NAMES (AAK56)
harley  does PORNO (325A2)
But kymutt  is NAKED (AAJ54)
For roxbear ... his people call it MAIZE (KA9K5)

Winner: mudcub . NAMES barely beats out stickyboy's NAMED

3. Two pair

The only entry from foodpoisoningsf  is AGENT (A75A7)
MAMAS (KAKA6) for stickyboy 
ultramundanecom  continues to AMAZE (AAKK5)
progbear  starts with TIGER (79755), and then upgrades to LANKY (QAAJQ)
Dr. Evil... I mean roxbear ... says MAGMA (KA7KA)
harley  tries RIVEN (5995A)
Very similarly, kymutt  does RAVEN (5A95A)
Similar to his last hand, TUMMY... this time dr_tectonic  submits YUMMY (Q8KKQ)
It NEARS (A5A56) for thornyc 

Winner: stickyboy ! MAMAS is a genius hand...

4. Three of a kind

stickyboy does a RALLY (5AQQQ)
geometrician's only entry is ABAYA (A2AQA)
harley  likes RESET (55657)
BULLY (28QQQ) for dr_tectonic 
roxbear  wants a DOLLY (42QQQ)
But kymutt  wants a LOLLY (Q2QQQ), and is disqualified for submitting four of a kind!
thornyc  does a BOOST (22267)
Yummy BACON (AA223) for mudcub 
For ultramundanecom , it's like a MANIA (AAAK9)

Winner: The three aces with king high from ultramundanecom

5. Straight

WHIST (T8967) for thornyc 
roxbear  offers HIRST (89567). Is that even a word?
The similar WIGHT (JT987) for ultramundanecom 
For harley , HEIST (85967)
kymutt  is CONED (32A54)
dr_tectonic  swears FUDGE (68475)
stickyboy  tries to make me accept MAJYK (KATQJ) though he also thought of FUDGE (68475) and CODES (32456)
That was mudcub's answer... CODES (32456). We know who the programmers are here!
Meanwhile, arcane_nitehawk  is a THIEF (78956)

Winner: Sorry stickyboy , I just can't go with MAJYK. It brings back too many bad memories of Ye Olde Renaissance Faire for me. The hand goes to ultramundanecom  for a jack-high straight

6. Flush

dr_tectonic  is a little RUSTY (5867Q)
For this one, harley  chose PORTS (32576)
arcane_nitehawk  says FLAME (6QAK5)
stickboy  BALED (2AQ54)
This one's WURST (T8765) for thornyc 
STONY (672AQ) for mudcub 
Another food item, kymutt's BAGEL (2A75Q)
roxbear  should get a MEDAL (K54AQ)
Also WURST (T8765) for ultramundanecom 

Winner: arcane_nitehawk  for the ace, king, and queen with a 6 high

7. Full house

mudcub  starts with RIVER (55588), though I also liked HUNAN (88AAA)
REEFS (55566) for harley 
arcane_nitehawk  tries BORER (22555)
BORER (22555) also for dr_tectonic 
A third BORER (22555) for kymutt 
AMMAN (AKKAA) for stickyboy 
I'm not sure if I should accept MAMMA (KAKKA) from roxbear 
thornyc  BOFFS (22666)
ultramundanecom  is in the ARENA (AAA55), though if I accepted French, he'd give me MAMAN (AAAKK)

Winner: stickyboy  with AMMAN. Wouldn't you know that he would toss in obscure geography? That guy knows his middle east!

8. Four of a kind

The only hand boysnightout82  submitted was BOOBY (2222Q)Are we *sure* he's gay?
Please REFER (55655) to mudcub 
harley  likes MANNA (AAAAK)
MANNA (AAAAK) also for stickyboy 
Finally, MANNA (AAAAK) for ultramundanecom 
arcane_nitehawk  is VIVID (99994)
VIVID (99994) also for dr_tectonic 
spikejrt  says BOOBS (22226)
BOOBS (22226) also for thornyc 
Something different... NANNY (AAAAQ) from roxbear 
And NANAS (AAAA6) for kymutt 

Winner: I am throwing out duplicate entries, just because I want to reward one-of-a-kind novelty. So the win is split between roxbear  and kymutt  as a tribute to their mothers

9. Straight flush

The closest stickyboy  could come is PONZY (321KQ), which violates the statement in the rules that an ace could be high or low, but not both
But roxbear  says "NURTZ"! Which isn't even a straight...

Winner: mudcub ! For making a bunch of people beat their brains out, searching for something that was impossible - but looked like it might be possible.

Points:

2 ultramundanecom 
2 mudcub 
2 stickyboy 
2 arcane_nitehawk 
1/2 roxbear 
1/2 kymutt 

Overall winner: thornyc ! Becuase i am His slave, and in my eyes, He is the biggest winner. And i need to apologize to Him for coming up with this game when i should have been focusing on keeping still and serving as a footstool. i am sorry Sir. It won't happen again.