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When it rains... it pours

In other news... my family business just exploded this morning.


Maybe it's a good thing my boyfriend and I are breaking up and selling the house. Not sure if I can afford the mortgage without the stock income.

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Oh honey i'm sorry...it's been a hard week for you.


Usually, when people say their business, job, etc... "exploded", they are speaking in the metaphorical sense. Wow.

I'm not sure what to say except that I am truly sorry for the hard time you're having. I suppose if there is a bright side to look on, (and this is the sort of thing I say to myself at times like these) at least you don't have to wait for the other shoe to drop, it's already here.

I hope for only good things for you in the future.

Good grief.

It seems that any business that can burn down, will burn down. This is not the first time I've heard this tale. Far from it.

For the record - I had nothing to do with it. I was in Denver at the time.

But another chemical plant burned down in Wichita a few months ago. It's a little suspicious, isn't it? Do you think terrorists would target chemical companies in small towns?

Terrorism was the last thing on my mind. Insurance fires, however, are very common. Adjusters have a whole checklist of things that they consider when insuring a business, because there are some (i.e. a pizza parlor in a run-down section of town where the owners have lots of debt) are practically guaranteed to go up in flames the minute they're covered. If there is a pattern of businesses of a particular type in the same area having fires, that's going to attract close attention whether it was arson or not.

My more general point, though, was that fires are extremely common and business owners seem to chronically underestimate their own risk. So most businesses that have a fire hazard tend to burn down eventually. Bill (our partner in Ukiah) had a family business in Hopland making willow furniture, and it burned down in the 80s. Very disruptive.

Our neighbors around the corner, in a spanking-new house, had a fire burning in their subfloor for a WEEK before it produced visible smoke. That was just this past weekend - our block alone gets about one fire a year, it seems. Not much damage in this case, but I had thought that new construction was almost immune to fires of this kind.

We don't know one another, so I feel a little strange adding a comment here. The reality is that these things will pass; you are resilient and learning from these experiences. For what it's worth, I try to be grateful for what I have and not dwell on what is lost or was never mine to begin with. What's most important: you seem to have a circle of friends who can help you through all of this to better times.

No, feel free to post. The hard thing about not dwelling on what was lost is that I *know* the past... I know what I've lost lately. I have no idea about what the future will bring, and I'm having trouble objectively seeing my present.

But yes, it's a good goal.

One reason I felt compelled to comment is a recent situation in my own life. Crises have a way of separating the wheat from the chaff: I was/am in the center of a personal meltdown, had the good sense (as you've had) to reach outside myself for guidance and was rewarded with some of the most compassionate advice--well beyond what I might have hoped. And I also found one or two people who were decidedly "fair weather." So, I guess my advice is to relish what your friends say, in spite of how uncomfortable it may be to hear.

Incidentally, you and I chatted once on another site, so I found you here and decided to eavesdrop on your journal.

Man, that sucks. Also, "Barton" vs. "Kellogg"?

Stay in touch. Perhaps you and I should go out for a beer some time. Moral support: it's all I got.

My grandfather, Ferrell Clark Barton, started the company in 1938. He had three daughters, so the family name died out with him. My cousins currently run the company, although I'm a shareholder.

So if it's privately held, you don't have to worry about the stock tanking, just the loss of income until they rebuild with insurance money, yes? Although I realize that could take years. And there may be lawsuits - some report said that the vapors/smoke/fumes are stripping paint off of people's cars and houses in the neighborhood...

Not the best timing for a big fire, IMO. They really should have checked with you first. :(

Good Lord. I'm sorry to hear about that. I saw it on the news this morning... I'm glad nobody was hurt, and I hope insurance will cover it.

Yeah, insurance will cover the building and tank damage. However, it pretty much wipes out all sales from that distribution center, so I'm going to lose any income for at least a year or more. Worse, the site is probably contaminated, and cleanup costs will last for a long time, possibly a decade or more until all the ground passes EPA.

It would be an understatement to say 'that sucks.' This is just not your week.

Shit happens, but it feels better after you flush.

Hopefully, your company had insurance, so you'll eventually be able to rebuild.

I will note that several things happened to me during 2001 - 2002, in rapid succession:

- My father suicided (January 2001)
- 9/11 happened
- I contracted Bell's Palsy (the left half of my face went dead) (2002)
- The apartment building I lived in was sold (mid 2002)
- My boyfriend walked out on me (late 2002)
- I couldn't stop, a sharp decline of income for my company. (early 2002)
- Shut down my company and moved myself and two engineers over to join our largest competitor (April 2002)
- Received and accepted a proposal from Randy to get married (May of 2002)

Despite all of the adversity, I ended up marrying a man I'd been attracted to for five or six (very long) years, we moved into a pleasant rental house for a couple of years, and subsequently purchased our own place.

I'm leaving out our wedding in Vancouver (Sept 2003) or Randy's brain tumor surgery two weeks later.

Ultimately, when the dust cleared from (destabilized apartment, lost boyfriend, lost company) ... I was much happier, and in a substantially improved situation.

Adversity Builds Character ... NOT. But I will admit, it's a useful instructor.

Re: Shit happens, but it feels better after you flush.

I'm not a fan of the idea that things happen for a reason. First of all, I'm an atheist, and the idea of a capricious god who kills some children while caring about which football teams win their championship doesn't make sense to me.

But yeah, I'll be ok this time next year. I'll probably be single and living in a much smaller house, but I'll be alive.

Re: Shit happens, but it feels better after you flush.

Nope. Never said (nor did I intend to imply) that things happen for a reason.

I'm sitting right next to you in Athiest Non-church. :)

My intention was to point out that as not-so-great stuff happens and clears out of your head and your life, it makes room for you to perceive other options.

For example ... how many of your mental and emotional energy were you expending on your relationship and on the issue of monogamy? Quite a bit, I suspect, judging from some of your prior postings. And while you were dealing with that, you weren't prepared to look elsewhere for a more suitable relationship/situation.

I suspect once you're not obsessing on your current relationship (although I don't know how long it'll take you to process through the breakup and feel like you've gotten over it), you'll suddenly find yourself open to considering other potential boyfriends who may not have the monogamy limitation that was troubling you earlier.

Re: Shit happens, but it feels better after you flush.

Wise words.

If not for a near miracle (okay, what can I, as an atheist, call a "miraculously unlikely" occurrence?) circa 1992 or so, I would not now be alive and enjoying life as I (usually) am. And all because life handed me (well okay, I helped) a long series of very unfortunate events, like the loss of my two best friends, the best job I'd had up to that point, getting arrested, breaking up with my partner of seven years, losing my first house...

The only plus in any of these recent events which I can synthesize is the real belief that life cannot continue to shit on you for much longer - the odds are very much against it.


some days you just need to stay in bed.
Heres hoping for some good things to come your way baby.

Really, all I got is "holy shit."

Hugs, guy.

I'm so sorry to see that! I hope these events end up giving you a new freedom that ends up being better in the long run. Meanwhile, I hope you have enough support to get through this rough time.

My gosh, I am so sorry. Good news is that when you've made it through all is this, you can survive anything. . .

Here you have a solvents business and not even you can dissolve your boyfriend. So break-up's the plan? It's so tough to do.

On a lighter note, I've never had the opportunity to say "Dude, I'm so sorry about your warehouse blowing up."

Come join us in the fog sometime soon.

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