August 3rd, 2008


(no subject)

Things that got dumped or smeared on me yesterday:

* Mud (from a mud pit that I had to spend 2 hours digging next to a hot Marine from Camp Pendleton)
* Rancid used cooking oil (at least 2 gallons.. used to make me really slippery before trying to cross the crisco-greased pole suspended over the mud pit)
* Lots and lots of dirt (I had to make "dirt angels". they're like snow angels, but with dirt and rocks)
* Salad dressing (both ranch *and* thousand island. The thousand island had lots of little pickles in it that felt annoying)
* Costco-sized can of nacho cheese (and of course someone had to yell "That's not your cheese!")
* Peanut butter (down my underwear. They ran out of smooth, so I got crunchy)
* Rotten fish oil (this was the *worst*, causing me to almost puke. The guy next to me said, "I'm never eating Vietnamese food again)
* Rice crispies (two boxes. Because my last name is "Kellogg"... get it? These really gave a "sugar cookie" look to my head)
* Dead rattlesnake (partially skinned, and definitely *not* fresh)
* Lots and lots of beer (ice cold... sometimes in mouth, usually not)
* Rit dye (I now have a purple ass that is indelibly stained)
* Corn syrup (have you ever seen a 55 gallon drum filled with corn syrup? I have)
* Straw (rolled/covered in it after the corn syrup)
* Fish gravy (it's a fishing thing... it was rubbed into my mustache and beard)
* Various fake meat products (mostly corned beef hash... we were playing a game called "Meat or not meat?" I couldn't eat it, though)
* Eggs (both smashed on head and thrown at from a 20 feet away through chicken wire)
* Kotex maxi-pad (ductaped to head to serve as a impromptu blindfold)
* Barbeque sauce, mayonnaise, catsup, and mustard (my mom said when having sex to always use a condiment)
* Lube (but that was in the hotel room afterward after I showered and hung out with my two friends)
* "Stink" (a secret recipe mixed up in a big vat, but trust me... it worked)
* Rotten oysters (NSFW... not safe for my weekend)
* Puke (into my pants pocket, courtesy of a weird guy who could regurgitate at will)
* Used beer ('nuff said)
* Tons of other stuff I can't recall because I was blindfolded for most of the time
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