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I get very annoyed at people I know who make Big Official Pronouncements that they are/aren’t going to do something. I had friends in college who would pompously tell everyone, “I won’t be coming to the bar anymore.


“For a long time,” they’d add. “So if you’re at the bar, don’t look for me.


“Because I won’t be there.”


Of course, these are the same guys that you’d see drinking three weeks later. And I learned it wasn’t worth trying to remind them of their Big Statement, because they’d either forgotten their vow, or they would deny make such a claim in the first place.


Fast forward to the new millennium. I don’t understand the LiveJournal bears who periodically post that they’re simplifying their life, cleaning out their closet, and so they are paring down the number of friends that they have. They scour their LiveJournal list, deciding like little emperors who is important enough to make the final cut.


“Post here if you think you still deserve to be my friend,” reads the inevitable post. “Because I only want certain people to read to read what I had for breakfast, or how much I love the recent Dreamgirls movie.”


Lemme tell ya something. If you really want to send out a private message to your six friends, here’s a new invention: it’s called *email*. There’s a special box there called “cc”, and you can add and subtract people to your heart’s delight, choosing who is allowed to read your private innermost thoughts.

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I wouldn't let it get to you. The whole concept is silly though. I don't let it get to me. If they don't wanna read my stuff, fine don't read it.

i can only assume that this is somehow related to me and my recent post.

interestingly enough, i did it because there were about a dozen people on my friends list who i'd taken off my "read regularly" filter. that filter was created when i was traveling and working like mad and still trying to keep up with close friends. over the course of several years i'd shuffled people to that filter either because they were posting too much or about things that weren't of interest to me or other personal reasons but i didn't want to offend them by "de-friending". it was beginning to feel really disingenuous to have them on my friends list and never read their posts. I can only assume that there are people who have likewise friended me for a variety of reasons and would be just as glad to jettison me. hell, it's not like my LJ is all that interesting.

so, i thought it would be a good and honest thing for me to just say, "i'm cleaning house" and let it go at that. i was right, not a single person I dropped seemed to even notice and that's all fine with me.

for me it wasn't an ego trip, it was just wanting to be honest, ya know?

Hi guy! Nope - this wasn't in reference to you.

Instead, what got me upset was a gay bear guy who told me a *month* ago at a Christmas party, "Hey! Add me to your LiveJournal friends!" only to axe me today.

Guess the guy is having a change of heart, or a midlife crisis, or a bad day. Maybe his new year's resolution is to be an asshole - I don't know.

cool. glad to hear it. seems there's been a rash of this sorta thing. must be the new years thing.

My favorites are the "Goodbye, Cruel LJ" entries about folks who claim they've finally had it and will never blog again!

Such a cry for attention is only interesting when it comes to guessing how long it will be before they start blogging again.

I couldn't agree more! That type of behavior, on (and of course off) LJ, amuses me to no end. I especially love it when it is a direct consequence of people not commenting enough on their particular blog. Then the Big Apocalyptic Announcement that they are not blogging anymore, or switcherooing all their friends around. Silly. LJ for me is doing what I want, when I want, written how I want and I don't give two f*%ks who cares!

Wheeeee! and that's my attitude for 2007.

It's irritating to me in life (as in your case, since it was a guy you met). I get irritated because I wonder "How did I miss that you're a jerk?"

I haven't been in the LJ universe long enough

to experience that particular foible yet. Thanks for the warning. :)

It reminds me of the self-loathing life-in-denial types who, once a decade like clockwork, throw or give away all their porn and sex toys and then delete all their online personae. It also reminds me of all the folk who, every couple of years, have to change towns because this one sucks TOO.

Yeah, I've been singled out for the odd purge every once and awhile. One person even requested that I defriend them, as they were dumping me. Stubborness at such a crass request forces me to keep reading his journal, and occassionally commenting (just to annoy him). This is a public arena if you choose it to be, otherwise go private.

It calls to mind the people who demand certain action of you in real life... if you don't do,say, act a certain way... we can't be friends. Honestly, put your ego in the back seat. Who elected the "friend police" to ratify who, how, what a friend is? I can still be your friend if I haven't spoken to you in the last year. Sheesh! Friendship is supposed to be forever. I admit that you can drift in and out of closeness with the passing of time, but you don't have to make any kind of declaration that the friendship is now over.

You never know... you might need friend one day.

Amen. People give way too much weight to the friends listings anyway.

OH YEAH! I have a habit of de-friending anyone that I even see posting such a thing... If they are that shallow, I don't want to know them!

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