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A Really Good Glass Of Coke

So, i've been playing at being a slave over the last four months, and it's been very challenging but also very rewarding. One strange thing i've noticed is that 90% of slavery is internal and completely invisible to the Master.

 Last month, my ex-Master asked me for a glass of Coke. i ran (heh... yeah, i ran) to the kitchen to get Him one. First, i chose the best glass in the cupboard: non-chipped and free of water spots. Just to make sure, i swirled some water in it and poured it out. i made sure the water was cold, so the glass would be pre-chilled. i got five of the most perfect ice cubes from the freezer, and poured the Coke slowly to minimize spills or bubbles. i had placed a few cans of Coke in the refrigerator three hours ahead of our meeting, so if He wanted a drink i was prepared. Fetching the drink took less than five minutes, and i rushed back. i turned the glass and held it so His right hand could easily grasp the drink without my fingers getting the way. He took the glass without a thank you, and i sat back down at His feet. 

It's embarassing writing all of this down in LiveJournal. Most of the guys reading this post probably think i'm silly or a freak (at best). But this was the kind of method i used to remind myself of my slavery and my place. i didn't want any pat on the head or praise for the extra-special service. In fact, i tried hard for my Master *not* to notice the hard work i was doing. At the end of the day, the only important thing is that my Master got a kick-ass glass of Coke served to Him. 

It's kind of lonely, doing all this internal work and not getting any congratulations for it. i can't say that i'm the world's best slave, either. i have a tendency to spend all that effort preparing the can of Coke, only for my master to say, "I asked for a Sprite!" i'm kind of ADD, and orders can go in one ear and out the other. i hate if the Master thinks my inattentiveness is done out of disrespect - it's usually that i'm too excited to listen carefully. i've learned that i have to use many tools to do a good job at slavery: write down what i heard and confirm it with the Master, make lists of things to do, and focus focus focus. Of course, punishment is a very good way to sharpen my mind as well! 

Last night, i tried to get back into slave mode. i wanted to serve a friend of mine at a party we were going to. He agreed to this, but wasn't sure what service i could provide: it was a party of pretty vanilla people. So, no kneeling, don't make a fuss, nothing sexual. Still, i made some preparations. i brought a gift (something free but the thought that counted): i burned some CDs from one of my favorite comedians, Bill Hicks. i think my friend will like Hicks' monologues - he has a similar sense of humor. i went to the bank and got $10 worth of single dollar bills. i wasn't sure if it was proper to offer to pay my friend's door fee for the party, but at the very least i thought it would nice to be able to break a five or ten if he needed it. i tried to arrive early to help carry his bags for me and set things up the way he wanted. i wore shorts, because my friend once said i had nice legs. 

i once got to serve my friend Master JW for a weekend. He is a very wise man, and taught me a lot. One thing he warned me about is not to serve a Master that has no idea you are serving him. It's not a hard-and-fast rule: for example, some uncollared slaves put a lot of time into public service and charity work as a method of serving. But to do things for a Master that are unasked-for and unappreciated is asking for trouble. In the worst case, the slave is merely providing the level and type of service the *slave* wants to give. The slave might want to cook breakfest in bed, regardless if the Master even likes food served that way. Sure, a lot of the things a slave can come up with on their own are pretty good ideas: backrubs, flowers, gifts, blowjobs. But it's not really slavery, it's more like just being a very thoughtful friend. It's a different thing to follow orders, particularly when the orders are difficult or painful. 

So, did i have a good time at the party last night? Definitely. Did my attempt at slavery work? Um... not really. It was quite laid-back. i am happy to think my friend had a good time. i tried to make things go smoothly: casual conversation, drinks, jokes. A hearty fellowship and a merry parting. Nothing too heavy. i really enjoyed being around him, and i hope this leads to a deeper relationship in the future. Do i think my friend noticed i was trying to serve? Not until he reads this post! {grin}

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Man, i am still new to this slavery thing... but it definitely does *not* feel like mediation. When i'm in that slave mode, my mind doesn't settle down. In fact, it's exactly the opposite - i constantly search for ways to please my Master. Is the room too warm? Does He need anything? What should i suggest to do next if He asks? Am i standing where i am supposed to be?

i love it when a Master breaks me out of that mode. It's quite a gift i am grateful for. Either he starts to give me explicit orders that i can focus on. Or, he starts hurting me until my mind shuts off into that animalistic pain. Or, a Master could always pleasure me until i lose the ability to use human speech! Until then, i'm always think think think.

Hm, interesting. I would have thought that turning your whole mind to someone else's desire would be relaxing. It sure is for me. Yeah, it's think think think, but everything is totally clear and there is no anxiety at all. At its best, there isn't a single wasted motion, no hurry or fumbling, just a very leisurely sequence of actions that seem to happen by themselves.

This text was a huge inspiration in that regard.

Ok, maybe i didn't think that through fully. i can feel like mediation when i'm given an order. Especially one with repetitive motions: dig a hole, polish boots. But i was thinking more of free-floating slavery that requires lots of initiative, and i find that difficult mentally.

a Master once told me this Mantra

He also Serves who waits.

think about this

Yes... but slaves do have needs too. If a Master makes the slave wait too long, he may find that the slave has moved on.

your preaching to the choir here..and i know about that :-)

the thing is, one can over do it to...The Master that told me this is very well respected, and he knew i was overdoing it....and trying to teach me patience.

There is a diffrence between needs and patience....and sometimes it is a fine line

My body may wait, but my mind never stops.

um...i know that :-) but there is a line between patience and getting your needs met. we talked about that this past weekend.

HUGS..i know what if feels like though

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