Log in

No account? Create an account
Previous Entry Share Flag Next Entry
A Really Good Glass Of Coke

So, i've been playing at being a slave over the last four months, and it's been very challenging but also very rewarding. One strange thing i've noticed is that 90% of slavery is internal and completely invisible to the Master.

 Last month, my ex-Master asked me for a glass of Coke. i ran (heh... yeah, i ran) to the kitchen to get Him one. First, i chose the best glass in the cupboard: non-chipped and free of water spots. Just to make sure, i swirled some water in it and poured it out. i made sure the water was cold, so the glass would be pre-chilled. i got five of the most perfect ice cubes from the freezer, and poured the Coke slowly to minimize spills or bubbles. i had placed a few cans of Coke in the refrigerator three hours ahead of our meeting, so if He wanted a drink i was prepared. Fetching the drink took less than five minutes, and i rushed back. i turned the glass and held it so His right hand could easily grasp the drink without my fingers getting the way. He took the glass without a thank you, and i sat back down at His feet. 

It's embarassing writing all of this down in LiveJournal. Most of the guys reading this post probably think i'm silly or a freak (at best). But this was the kind of method i used to remind myself of my slavery and my place. i didn't want any pat on the head or praise for the extra-special service. In fact, i tried hard for my Master *not* to notice the hard work i was doing. At the end of the day, the only important thing is that my Master got a kick-ass glass of Coke served to Him. 

It's kind of lonely, doing all this internal work and not getting any congratulations for it. i can't say that i'm the world's best slave, either. i have a tendency to spend all that effort preparing the can of Coke, only for my master to say, "I asked for a Sprite!" i'm kind of ADD, and orders can go in one ear and out the other. i hate if the Master thinks my inattentiveness is done out of disrespect - it's usually that i'm too excited to listen carefully. i've learned that i have to use many tools to do a good job at slavery: write down what i heard and confirm it with the Master, make lists of things to do, and focus focus focus. Of course, punishment is a very good way to sharpen my mind as well! 

Last night, i tried to get back into slave mode. i wanted to serve a friend of mine at a party we were going to. He agreed to this, but wasn't sure what service i could provide: it was a party of pretty vanilla people. So, no kneeling, don't make a fuss, nothing sexual. Still, i made some preparations. i brought a gift (something free but the thought that counted): i burned some CDs from one of my favorite comedians, Bill Hicks. i think my friend will like Hicks' monologues - he has a similar sense of humor. i went to the bank and got $10 worth of single dollar bills. i wasn't sure if it was proper to offer to pay my friend's door fee for the party, but at the very least i thought it would nice to be able to break a five or ten if he needed it. i tried to arrive early to help carry his bags for me and set things up the way he wanted. i wore shorts, because my friend once said i had nice legs. 

i once got to serve my friend Master JW for a weekend. He is a very wise man, and taught me a lot. One thing he warned me about is not to serve a Master that has no idea you are serving him. It's not a hard-and-fast rule: for example, some uncollared slaves put a lot of time into public service and charity work as a method of serving. But to do things for a Master that are unasked-for and unappreciated is asking for trouble. In the worst case, the slave is merely providing the level and type of service the *slave* wants to give. The slave might want to cook breakfest in bed, regardless if the Master even likes food served that way. Sure, a lot of the things a slave can come up with on their own are pretty good ideas: backrubs, flowers, gifts, blowjobs. But it's not really slavery, it's more like just being a very thoughtful friend. It's a different thing to follow orders, particularly when the orders are difficult or painful. 

So, did i have a good time at the party last night? Definitely. Did my attempt at slavery work? Um... not really. It was quite laid-back. i am happy to think my friend had a good time. i tried to make things go smoothly: casual conversation, drinks, jokes. A hearty fellowship and a merry parting. Nothing too heavy. i really enjoyed being around him, and i hope this leads to a deeper relationship in the future. Do i think my friend noticed i was trying to serve? Not until he reads this post! {grin}

  • 1
not sure how much this will help but for me, serving is 99% mindset, 1% action, which means that almost all thought of what I might want or want to do has to be given over - which is why you have to have utmost trust in yr master - otherwise it doesn't work. and he has to show that he is trustworthy - which can be hard to figure out - chicken and egg. but before you go in to the mindset, you have to ask why am I doing this? and the answer gets to be, because I serve at the pelasure of my master. to remain in that service, I must do this, this and this, and what I'm asked to do. the pleasure of service is in provding the service requested - not necessarily going over the top, doing what hasn't been asked for, but of doing the job as it was requested and well. and the I is minimised into the doing. the master will do what the master thinks is right, not what the servant thinks he has done right. and if punishment is built in - well, that's added. but you see how the I is minimised - you are not I any longer, but you are the master's servant. once the role is there, there is no more you, no more your pleasure for you to determine, nothing. it is the masters. and yes - use those tools. always ask master if it is right. not because you think it is right and you want reward, but because master's opinion is all that matters and slave's existence is to serve.

maybe you know all of this, i'm not sure, i'm only beginning to understand giving myself over.

But what if the Master doesn't tell you to do anything?

that's not for you to question. you serve your master's pleasure - yours is to do as requested. you await and you serve.

that said, a good master will give clear instructions - unless he's trying to teach you patience by punishment - and in that case, yr gonna hurt...

but these things should be... not worked out in advance but the generals should be explored. you shouldn't be guessing what yr master wants, you should be doing it. and he - well... what the master wants, the master gets.

It was a trick question. But that was the purpose of this post.

Yes, yes, i know a good slave is supposed to wait. But as bigfootcub noted above... after several months of no dominance, a slave might wonder what the point is. And go find a different Master.

Other slaves do other things. They can be bratty: practically begging for punishment and correction in order to get a scene. They can throw an emotional tantrum in order to get attention. Or, they can write an LJ post complaining that they were ready to serve at a party last night and nothing happened. i think i chose the latter path, and that's not really fair to my friend. But i don't know how to ask for more without "topping from the bottom".

ah - sorry... i should preface everything with in my opinion and the like - i wasn't meaning to... over insist or anything.

the thing to me is that everything depends on communication - he should be aware from what you communicate to him and vice versa... and the lessons generally should be clear enough, at least at the start, to build up trust...

as for yr final point, get down on yr knees and beg - the worst and the best that can happen is you get flogged for impudence

Well... i guess i don't know how to communicate to a Master without making it sound like i'm saying "Yer doin it WRONG!"

it might not be you - it might be the dynamic - is it possible to talk with them outside of the role in order to ascertain what's going wrong?

  • 1