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Minor break-up
Black eye
So, I met a new online Master last week, and we've been having a lot of fun. He's really into humiliation and service, which i like. One of the most erotic things He had me do (in my opinion) was that i had to eat oatmeal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, for four days. And a couldn't use any utensils.

On the fifth day? i had to eat baby food... strained peas.

Plus there were other fun scenes on cam, and lots of hot fantasies exchanged that got us both off. So, i was surprised last Friday when He broke up with me. Damn. We had only been playing for about 10 days, so i'm not heartbroken. But i had hoped we'd play a lot more.

Bad idea #1: The Master said we weren't compatible. My kinks were so extreme that He was turned off and He didn't think He could push me enough. That's ok, but the lecture continued with a theory from his *other* boy that all slaves were divided into Alphas, Betas, and Omegas. The Master was looking for an Alpha: good-looking, young, tough, and macho. A born leader who likes to top boys of his own. On the opposite end of the spectrum, He said, was me. i'm not butch enough for Him, i guess. Thanks for the lecture about my faults as You break up with Me.

Bad idea #2: i saved all our IM conversations in a folder, and i find myself going back often to read them - trying to parse the exact moment when it all went wrong, and what i could have done differently to keep being His slave. Bad idea, i know, but i can't help myself.

Bad idea #3: The Master still wants to be friends and to play occasionally. i have no animosity towards Him, and we had lots of fun, but there's a danger here as a sub. i don't think the Dom realizes i'm still really in love/lust/like with Him, and would try to follow any order He gave me day or night. That's a lot of power over me, and if He doesn't really care for me any more, maybe we should just stop chatting. But you know i'll be keeping that IM window open for the next few weeks, seeing when He's on!

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if He doesn't really care for me any more, maybe we should just stop chatting

you know you will end up more and more hurt with each interaction...you'll be opening yourself up more and more to him..and he'll just continually play...then move on

...and the problem with that is? [grin]

I'm not talking physical pain

unless you are looking for more rejection

BI #2 is never a good idea, and I do it all the time. I think it's a way for me to hold on to someone that is already gone, and what is the point in that?
It's also a way for me to NOT move on myself, and allows me to stay angry at myself for believing it was something that it really wasn't.

BI #3 is never a good idea, and I do it all the time. It allows me to be in denial, lets me think there's still soemthing there, when there really
isn't anything there.

Folks like him get what they want from you, quickly tire of you, then kick you to the curb. I just went through a real time situation like that, and it ended with me feeling used. That sucks big time.

That's a little unfair - this was a short casual internet thing, not real time. i used him as much as he used me. i gave him custom-written dirty stories and he gave me orders to do. For a while it was a good exchange.

This ain't my first rodeoso i'm ok. i thing the Master is a little inexperienced and wanted to try some new fetishes before realizing they didn't turn him on. i just regret the Alpha/Beta/Omega lecture and wonder how and if we interact in the future.

Hey-apologizes for the strong comments. I guess I was struck by the similarities of your reaction and the way I often react. No offense meant-at all.

Yeah, I'd say dump him, throw away any messages you have saved of him, and start over. The pain will go away much quicker that way, and leave you with pleasant memories.

On another note, I'm being a Taurus here: Throw away your razor, and grow your beard out, NOW!


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