I've been posting my profile on recon.com looking for a leather Master. I get more luck there than on bear411.com or bearciti.com. The bears tend to ignore me, probably scared off by my... um... more *esoteric* interests.
I've noticed something about the ads on recon for Masters and slaves.
The ads for Masters almost always focus on the service: what the slave will do, and how he will behave. Some of that is to be expected, as in, "What can you do for Me?". But I find it odd that fetishes are usually left at the end as an afterthought. You'd think that the thing that thrills a Master would be upfront - but most of their profiles detail the type of relationship the Master desires. Meanwhile, the ads for slaves often feature laundry lists of kinks, with an addendum that the slave will also serve gladly and willingly.
A quick glance must suggest that most of the slaves on recon aren't slaves at all. They are only in it for the sex, and treat slavery as some sort of "Super Bottom" role that they can play whenever they feel like it. This might be true... it's a common cliche for new slaves. I've been accused of it time and time again, when I know in my heart that it isn't true in my case. But I think that something else entirely is going on...
If I was a Master (and part of me is...) the thing that I would worry about is that I'd fall in love with a slave who is flakey. Who doesn't follow orders, and who won't follow wherever I lead. Someone who has no time for me, and for whom I am just a secondary priority in their busy life. One of the most demoralizing things for a Top is a to plan their deepest darkest fantasy as a scene, only to have the slave look up and say, "That's stupid - I'm not doing that!" In my Master profile, I want to make sure that any prospective slave knows that I'm serious about this, that I expect a lot, and that if they are just in it for themselves to go look elsewhere. I demand good service.
But as a slave, service is the furthest worry from my mind. I've got that covered. I'm a slave, and I know at my core that I will lovingly try to make the Master as happy as I can. I have no doubts that I can cook, clean, or perform any other task that is set in front of me to the best of my ability. Service is not a problem... it is the reason I am a slave in the first place. Instead, what terrifies me is the sex. Either the Master is solely into something I'm not (like wanting me to be a spanking bottom 24/7), or that the Master won't let me indulge in something that is my core fetish. Either way, I fear giving up control of my body, my mind, and my life to someone who will break the new toy he is given.
In reverse, as a Master, sex is not a problem. I will control how much sex he boy has and what we will do. And I'm not a cruel person (at least not all the time). I'd let the slave indulge himself occassionally with some weird kink that I'm not into. I'd let the slave cum just enough so he doesn't go crazy and leave me. I'm not stupid. If the boy is true and faithful... everything else follows.
So, in my view, Masters worry about service, but know that the sex is covered. Meanwhile, slaves know they can serve, but fear what the sex will be like. To me, that's why the Master and slave profiles are so lopsided.