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mudcub
Thanks to everyone who voted in my LiveJournal poll yesterday. Almost a hundred people had an opinion, and for that I really thank you. I'd love to hear from some of you why you voted the way you did... we'll have to have dinner or drinks sometime soon.

 
The results are pretty much split in thirds:

33 Denver (either in existing house or new condo)
35 Munich
28 San Francisco or a dungeon somewhere
-----------
96 Total

I love statistics, so here is some analysis:

Number of respondents from Denver = 6
Number that want me to stay in Denver = 4

This was nice to see. Nice to know I haven't worn out my welcome in this town, and that some friends want me to stay!

Number of respondants from San Francisco = 17
Number that want me to move to San Francisco = 9

I wanted to see the breakdown on this one, because people seem to either really love or really hate living in San Francisco. I've heard many stories about newcomers buying a house, only to sell it a year later and flee screaming from the bay area. I'm not sure what kind of newbie I'd be. About half of the people in SF recommend SF. You assume since they still live there, they like it. I'd like to hear more form people who moved there and then left.

I think I'm mostly shocked by how many people want me to stay in Denver. Could you tell me why? I mean, I've expressed unhappiness at my current living situation... I was wondering if the fact I have family here was the deciding factor. Or whether you think I need to slow down and regroup in a familiar safe place.

Results:

What I'm going to do is stay in Denver for a few months. I'm putting my house on the market, and fixing it up. Packing up unneeded collections (magazines, DVDs, books, uniforms) and making the house look beautiful. If the house sells right away for a high price, that changes my options. If it languishes, that is a deciding factor as well.

At the same time, I'm going to stay at my current job and apply to get a higher security clearance. That will help me in the future no matter what happens. It's necessary for the Munich job, so Lockheed Martin will keep paying me all summer. I will consider my options in the fall.

So, there are several go/no-go dates:

July 1, 2008 = Find out if Lockheed Martin got the Munich contract. If not, that takes that job off the table
August 1, 2008 = Ex-partner fully moved out. My collections stored in boxes and house ready to show
September 1, 2008 = Munich job possible start date 



Scenario 1 = House doesn't sell, I get the Munich job
Option A = Keep house on market, go to Munich, let family sell house
Option B = Stay in house, find work in Denver

Scenario 2 = House sells, I get the Munich job
Option A = Sell car, and lots of other stuff. Move to Munich
Option B = Don't take the Munich job... move to condo in Denver
Option C = Don't take the Munich job... move to San Francisco
Option D = Dont take the Munich job... move elsewhere

Scenario 3 = House doesn't sell, I don't get the Munich job
Option A = Stay in current house, look for work in Denver
Option B = Move to SF. Close up house, try to sell again when market improves

Scenario 4 = House sells, I don't get the Munich job
Option A = Move to San Francisco
Option B = Move to smaller condo in Denver
Option C = Move somewhere else 

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My response was conditioned on my feeling that a recent breakup is not the best time to contemplate too much radical change at once. Know how in software development, it's often good to make only ONE change at a time, if possible, so if things go wrong you know which change triggered the problem? Same principle.

The temptation to uproot everything following a breakup can lead to a feeling a year later that EVERYTHING is wrong in the new situation as well. How much of it is being single, how much of it is being a slave in search of a master, how much of it is SF or Munich or whatever? If you stay in Denver for a bit longer, you have more time to assess PATRICK, rather than the externals.

Past that, the Munich job doesn't sound like a good fit.

Good thinking. In fact, better thinking than I'm doing at the moment!

Edited at 2008-06-26 04:54 pm (UTC)

Totally. Look at me -- it took 21 years to figure out that I needed to leave! ;{)}

I have to admit I love your numerical & statistical analysis here. Does my Mathematician Uber-geeky heart good.

Personally I think you are making the right decision. Certainly getting the higher security clearance can't hurt and it should make you even more marketable.

Good luck on selling the house. As you said, it's quick turnover or languish-ment will help you make the decision needed to thrive.

(Deleted comment)
So... what's yer vote?

(Deleted comment)
I voted Munich because it's what I would do, I think that you'll find a lot of the answers center around how we would do things, and not necessarily based on your current priorities. Having a defined amount of time in an awesome part of the world, and then rejoining life back at home almost seems like a long vacation... to me anyway. Also on top of the fact that I can't quantify a priority of being in a dungeon. That's really for you to weigh. It's possible that's something you think about all the time compared to Munich which is just a "that would be nice."

so maybe try redoing your analysis above, but see if you can put weights on each potential decision.

People have polar reactions to SF. One either falls in love or hates the place. The appeal is that those who don't quite fit in most places can find they're suddenly both accepted and (GASP!) mundane here. I haven't a clue what the next step in your life might become, but from my own experience, SF has given me the chance to shed as much of my history as I needed to, and has pushed me to define my identity without (deliberately pandering image here) my old chains, to CHOOSE my chains; to find the ones that fit me. The focus on a narrow range of livingspace choices is premature, however. Newbies here need time to choose housing, as we're a community of micro-climates and micro-neighborhoods. You've already found your heart here, which makes me smile. Consider taking a sub-let and allowing time to see if you end up in your own space, or in His, or in some as-yet-undefined variant. It's not unheard of to rent SOMA playspace and buy nicer digs further uphill, for example.....

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