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Things that got dumped or smeared on me yesterday:

* Mud (from a mud pit that I had to spend 2 hours digging next to a hot Marine from Camp Pendleton)
* Rancid used cooking oil (at least 2 gallons.. used to make me really slippery before trying to cross the crisco-greased pole suspended over the mud pit)
* Lots and lots of dirt (I had to make "dirt angels". they're like snow angels, but with dirt and rocks)
* Salad dressing (both ranch *and* thousand island. The thousand island had lots of little pickles in it that felt annoying)
* Costco-sized can of nacho cheese (and of course someone had to yell "That's not your cheese!")
* Peanut butter (down my underwear. They ran out of smooth, so I got crunchy)
* Rotten fish oil (this was the *worst*, causing me to almost puke. The guy next to me said, "I'm never eating Vietnamese food again)
* Rice crispies (two boxes. Because my last name is "Kellogg"... get it? These really gave a "sugar cookie" look to my head)
* Dead rattlesnake (partially skinned, and definitely *not* fresh)
* Lots and lots of beer (ice cold... sometimes in mouth, usually not)
* Rit dye (I now have a purple ass that is indelibly stained)
* Corn syrup (have you ever seen a 55 gallon drum filled with corn syrup? I have)
* Straw (rolled/covered in it after the corn syrup)
* Fish gravy (it's a fishing thing... it was rubbed into my mustache and beard)
* Various fake meat products (mostly corned beef hash... we were playing a game called "Meat or not meat?" I couldn't eat it, though)
* Eggs (both smashed on head and thrown at from a 20 feet away through chicken wire)
* Kotex maxi-pad (ductaped to head to serve as a impromptu blindfold)
* Barbeque sauce, mayonnaise, catsup, and mustard (my mom said when having sex to always use a condiment)
* Lube (but that was in the hotel room afterward after I showered and hung out with my two friends)
* "Stink" (a secret recipe mixed up in a big vat, but trust me... it worked)
* Rotten oysters (NSFW... not safe for my weekend)
* Puke (into my pants pocket, courtesy of a weird guy who could regurgitate at will)
* Used beer ('nuff said)
* Tons of other stuff I can't recall because I was blindfolded for most of the time

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Yes, it's the same group. The chapter I was outed to is in Colorado. Yesterday was Sacramento. And while news travels fast, I expected nobody knew me there, and I was right.

I'm glad Reno was fun! You know if I would have been there, we could have done a messy initiation in your hotel room...

If I thought you were in the area...

We had a huge bath tub in that suite. It was BEGGING to be messed up. Messed up bad.

Reno is fun because you can play in a casino and smell horseshit on cowboys in Wranglers walking by.


It blows my mind. High end casino. Dirty cowboys. You won't find that in Vegas.

Oh, and shitloads of bikers up in Virginia City. Grrrr.

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