Am I having fun? Yeah... but more than a little overwhelmed by all the action and the energy. I had things done to me with a metal spoon that I kind of regret. Tonight I used over 40 toys on the same guy, many of them all at the same time. I'm bruised and sore and wondering if I'm going to survive another four days of S&M sex.
But what makes me a sad is that this event has reminded me that I'm definitely a strange beast. I could add up all the missed connections, all the rejections and guys who don't want to play with me, and it's a large number. I'm not really finding what I'm looking for. I'm more of a curiosity or a topic of conversation here than a human being.
Some days I wish I could be cloned. First of all, that means that there would be at least one really raunchy guy who would be into the same things that I am. But also, if I had a clone or two (or three or four), then I could travel across the country and serve, while still keeping my house in Colorado. I could be a top, a bottom, a Master, and a slave all at the same time.
However, I don't think the world is ready for a whole rugby team full of mudcubs (mudci?) Just one is more than enough.