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10 Ways to Be a Bad Slave
It’s our job as submissives to disappoint Masters as much as possible, until they become completely frustrated and drop out of the leather community, and give up on the idea of ever finding a slave to love and abuse.

1. Lie

There are so many ways to be mendacious. Lies of omission work as well as those of commission. Or at the very least, bend the truth to your advantage. Or, better yet, don’t take the time to think about the situation so you end up lying to yourself. Those are the kind of lies that can never be caught because you truly believe you are telling the truth.

2. Don’t take anything seriously

Remember that this is just a game. So what if the stakes include the Top’s self worth and confidence? Get hooked up, get off, and then get away as fast as you can. Talk about the prospective Master with your friends and compare notes. Develop an elaborate scoring system to see who’s the best Top in town. Make jokes at their expense in public.

3. Drama, drama, drama

If you can’t be a good slave, at least you can win an Oscar. Let your inner problems get in the way of the service. Rant and cry for hours about petty details that have nothing to do with the Master. Blow up small incidents until they become huge issues to talk about at length. Come on… you are a gay man. This should come naturally to anybody on LiveJournal.

4. It’s all about the sub

Every scene is about you. After all, aren’t you the one tied up? The relationship should center around your needs and opinions. And when it ceases to be what you had in mind, drop it like Visine. Talk endless about yourself.

5. Make the rounds

Do you like having a Master? Why choose just one? Go around town pledging your love and devotion to anybody who will invite you over for an afternoon dungeon session. Let the Master spend His time and energy on you, and then throw the investment away. Call it polyamory if you must, but get your ass out there.

6. Don’t show up or be reliable

Remember, meeting times are just a *suggestion*. Show up late with a good story. Or better yet, cancel the session altogether, preferably hours after you were supposed to the meet the Master. You can always make an excuse why plans had to change. Using family problems is always an excellent trump card to be played over and over again.

7. It’s all about sex

If you didn’t get off, it didn’t really happen. Remember that a scene should end at exactly the perfect time… right after you cum. Make a list of fetishes, and tell the Top that he has to do them all to you, exactly the way you want them.

8. Be bratty

Haven’t had a good beating lately? Complain and fuss until the Master finally has to correct you. Or, even if you don’t want a scene, you can be a big enough baby to get a whole lot of time and attention. This works great for both for quiet weekends, as well as leather events where you feel like you’re not the focus of the party.

9. Prostitute the Top

Treat him like a paid whore. Even after a hard session, make sure to dismiss him with a quick goodbye. Don’t send an email or text a thank you message. He’ll be back again, but this time on your terms. Remember, everyone is a pro-dom, it’s just that most of them don’t get paid for it. Expect something in return for any bit of service you do. Keep score.

10. Work it

Everything can be a weapon. Do you have more money than the Top? Arrange a lifestyle that He won’t be able to keep up with and soon He will be dependent on you. Are you cute? Even better. Make sure the Master knows He is old, and can’t do any better than you. Use your body to make Him jealous, and then laugh that He is being silly. The goal isn't to be the best slave you can be... the goal is to be better than the Master.

Good luck with your service!

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Hahahaaha I hadn't seen the second part of this. Good stuff here too.

My reply to your other list would apply here too. I will add that this not only applies to gay men, but also to strait and bi men and women.

Having played on both sides, I have seen them all. :(

Wow... absolutely mindblowing. Again, because I know way too many people with this attitude.

Of course, this one mostly only grossly offends me when people assume or imply that I may (or even should!) hold this attitude toward service... Why would I be waiting on my Sir if we're not scening that night? Our relationship is only D/s if we're at the club/ in scene/ I'm wearing a collar. I'm only with him because he's young and hot. Why do I behave so well when I know I won't be punished if I don't?

Pride. Love. Service. Because he is my Sir and that is what he deserves for being so. Because I am the girl and that is what it is my honor and duty to do.

Poseurs and drama queens... fuck 'em.

Wow... serving out of love and pride? Obviously, you're doing it wrong!

From what I've been told

11# should be get it in writing. the one stable master/slave relationship i've known for years, started with a very long and explicit contract on who did what and how. I asked the slave why he'd left his full time partner for his formerly part time daddy, and he said- cause Master is willing to give me things my partner can't/won't- like health care benefits, and retirement savings.

If it's gonna be a full time relationship, you better treat it that way.

These two posts are the beginnings of a great book or website for people just getting into the scene. And those who have clearly lost their way.

My experiences so far have been that there are a lot of people who seem to only enjoy things if they complicate them far beyond the fun point.

I feel blessed that I met the men that I did in my early 20s. I didn't realize it at the time that they were passing on a way of looking at SM that would disappear.

That is, that if you hold personal responsibility in high regard and treat the people around you with the respect you would want for yourself, life will be a lot easier.

To that end. I try not to make promises I may not be able to keep. It upsets people to hear me say "no." But, I'd rather say "no" than to say "yes" and not be able to follow through.

It can make me look stand offish to people who are used to being routinely lied to by people. I know I have missed out on dates because I won't say "yeah, let's play Friday" about 8 times in a row before actually playing.

I'm no master. But, I do love to top. So, I won't tell a guy I will be a master. Even if that is the fantasy in my head while playing. My partner is a master. I leave that up to him.

I can enjoy bottoming. But, I know I am no slave. So, I can't tell a guy I'll be his.

Almost all of your items in your lists are either about honesty, or being a responsible man or woman.

Thank-you for posting this, Mud.

(and the other post)

It is as if you've articulated things that have bothered me as well for some time and yet I had not encountered.

Slaves like this get strapped into a fucking machine with a saline/extasy drip and left there for two whole days.


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