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We'll Meet Again, Don't Know Where, Don't Know When
Black eye
I just found out that Jeff Hayward died. He was known as "ElkoCowboy" on recon and other web sites. I don't know the details yet, but his death was sudden and painless - he died sitting next to his computer.

I saw Jeff Friday night. I was driving from Denver to San Jose, and figured out that Elko, Nevada was halfway there. Jeff opened up his house to me and let me stay the night. After 12 hours of driving, his hot tub felt pretty good! But what I enjoyed was some time later when we snuggled and kissed and he put me in my leather sleepsack for a while.

I was joking with him while I was tied down. I noted that if he had a heart attack while I was mummified, I would spend a whole more time in Elko than I planned. He laughed and said he was in perfect health. He talked about how much he loved his partner Mark, and liked living in the country.  He seemed in good spirits, and I am at a loss to explain what happened.

What an amazing man. I am honored to have met him - even if it was just that one night. He loved smoking pipes, and putting boys in bondage. I love his favorite youtube videos ( where you can see the fun and joy that reminds me why I love leather sex.

I left Denver, Colorado last week, and a few friends called me up wanting to get together. They sweetly bemoaned the fact that I was leaving so soon... they thought that we would have more opportunities together. They put off calling me for days, and then weeks, and then there was no time left. So, I guess with this post, I would implore the reader to do something this week that you've put off. Call that friend you haven't seen in a while, set up a date with the hot man you barely know, or go do something you've always wanted to do.

The leather world has lots and lots of wonderful people it. But the problem is that it now has one less, and it is a great loss.

What a hot man and what a nice memorial. I'll smoke a pipe tonight in his honor.

Twice last Friday night, he mentioned that he wanted to start writing again. In particular, he had a story in mind featuring You. In the fantasy, You did wonderful and horrible things to him, and Jeff was going to write the details down sometime soon.

Oh my God, that's terrible.

I'm sorry for your loss, honey. (HUG)

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I think it's interesting that he sold life insurance for a living, yet didn't have a policy himself. He thought he didn't need to pass anything on. I like to think he had no regrets that way.

Jeff was a very generous man: I have a stack of books on tape that he gave me for my road trip. We made plans for me to drive back to Elko sometime soon with his friend Sir Behr and spend the weekend.

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I was going to call... I know you were friends with him. Jeff went to work Monday, and his assistant was out yesterday. She looked for him today, and had a key to his house. So Jeff passed sometime between Monday night and Tuesday night. I'm guessing Monday night or he would have gone into work.

I haven't talked to Mark yet, but I wanted to share my condolences since I was one of the last people to see Jeff. I don't know how people are being notified... I hope I am not overstepping by posting details on my LJ.

How sad. I always enjoyed talking to him online and meeting him when he was in town. I'm glad you got to spend time with him last week.

Oh my god, I knew him too. He was such a sweetie. Thoroughly bummed right now.

Just a correction, His partner is Mark. I've been on the phone with Mark a lot (i was on the phone with him when he found out through call waiting) and Mark is having a very hard time. i wasnt going to post anything untill Mark found out more info, but since you posted i will add clarity to stop any rumor mill.

No one had heard from Jeff in two days. His office assistant entered the house and found him in the basement office, he had been passed for two days.

He was a member of my family, and will be missed. Right now i am supporting my little borther Mark the best i can from 3000 miles away.

Typo fixed. Sorry if I jumped the gun with my LJ post, but it helped me right now. I've had a rough first week in California, and I was thinking that seeing Mark was such a right and perfect way of connecting with another human being. Unlike Folsom Street fair, it was sweet and natural. I wish more guys could be like Jeff.


We met at Inferno several years back and had a lot of fun.


:( I'm glad you got to spend some time with him before he passed. How tragic!

I sent him a message on ICUII on the 29th. I don't know if he responded.

Wow. I don't know what to say here. My thoughts go out to all who knew him. What a horribly sad story :-(

Yeah, he was 43, I think...

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At times like this, you have your religion. And I envy you for that.

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WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT??????????? oh fuck no.


There is an obituary group on You may want to join and make a post about him there. The group was started to let others know about our lost loved ones in the leather community.


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