?

Log in

No account? Create an account
Previous Entry Share Next Entry
Mine...
Eye
mudcub

When I was a freshman in college at age 18, my mom dropped me off at school for the first week. At the time, I could fit everything I owned into a Toyota Tercel hatchback, with room to spare. But I remember when I unloaded my life into a dorm room, kissed my mom goodbye, and shut the door.

The was a wonderful feeling. It was *my* space for the first time. No rules, no curfew, and nobody to bother me. Probably the first thing that I owned emotionally with no strings attached.

Door

I did the same thing today, and it was bittersweet. I have more things now at age 39; there are two storage pods somewhere in Nevada waiting for when I can find a house or condo to buy. In the meantime, I'm living out of five suitcases and an assortment of boxes. I'm renting a room from sfbritskin, a great guy and leatherman who may not know what he's getting into by associating with me!

I finished moving everything today during lunch. I sat down in the middle of the floor, since I don't have a bed yet. Just a sleeping bag on an air mattress. I wanted to put on some music, but I don't know where my radio would be. I thought about how I've kind of wasted the last 15 years of my life, and it was embarrassing that I'm right back where I started twenty years ago. But I shook off those thoughts, closed my eyes and listened to the silence for a while. Then I got up and closed the door.

  • 1
I thought about how I've kind of wasted the last 15 years of my life, and it was embarrassing that I'm right back where I started twenty years ago.

You couldn't be more wrong, mister. If you were right back where you started 20 years ago, you'd not know all you did now. Think of it as a second start with a more discerning head, instead. :)

Congrats on your new beginning!
[HUGS]

  • 1