mudcub (mudcub) wrote,
mudcub
mudcub

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Busted!

I got an email from[info]showmeonthedoll:

 “oh.. and I am a little confused by how you toss around the word monogamous.
you have sex with other people.
Not really getting that.”

 Ooh, I’m busted! First of all, it’s not a competition. I hope I’ve never described my relationship as being better or worse than anybody else’s. My partner and I have experimented to find what works best for us. I call it monogamy… evidently, Ernie disagrees.

I don’t cheat on my boyfriend. He knows where I am at all times. Though, sometimes he opens the porch door and lets the dog outside. However, I’m not running around the neighborhood. It’s more like I am allowed occasionally to go… visit the mailman. Or something. The analogy is breaking down.

I sometimes call our relationship “consensual monogamy”. Maybe monoamory would be a better term. My partner and I have talked about polyamory, threesomes, “separate vacations” and other sexual configurations, and have tried some of them over time. I’d like an open relationship, but that didn’t work out.

On the other hand, sometimes I wonder if my emphasis on the length of my relationship is a side-effect of some lingering self-hatred. So, I can say, “Well, I may be a cocksucker, but at least my relationship is better than most straight people.” Using gay marriage as sort of a consolation prize to make up for the fact I’m gay. But I don’t think about it very much.

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