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Reading is Fun & Mental
Have you ever heard of the "Turner Diaries"? It is a ridiculous and hateful right-wing novel written by William Luther Pierce that turned into inspiration for Timothy McVeigh and other murderers. How about the "Protocols of the Elders of Zion"? It was a book from 1864 that purported to be a roadmap for jews to rule the world. It was a false proof of jewish conspiracy, and continues to be justification for anti-semitic violence even today.

Ok, now have you heard of "After the Ball"? Published in 1989? By the well-known gay leaders Marshall Kirk and Hunter Madsen? No? Never heard of them?

Well, anti-gay hate groups say that the book forms the core beliefs of everyone involved in the gay rights movement today. The Christian Broadcasting Network says that "the two men [Kirk and Madsen] proposed using tactics on 'straight' America that are remarkably similar to the brainwashing methods of Mao Tse-Tung's Communist Chinese -- mixed with Madison Avenue's most persuasive selling techniques." Wow... I've studied gay politics for the past decade. It's amazing that I've never heard of such a seminal book. It's so wide-spread and influential that it's out of print, and used copies run over $50 each.

You don't think the religious right is inflating things out of proportion and making shit up in order to hurt gay people, do you? No, they wouldn't do that... would they?

Here is a a segment of Kirk and Madsen's book: a six-point plan that gay people are using to take over America.
  1. Talk about gays and gayness as loudly and as often as possible
  2. Portray gays as victims, not as aggressive challengers
  3. Give homosexual protectors a just cause
  4. Make gays look good
  5. Make the victimizers look bad
  6. Get funds from corporate America
I think I have all of those covered. I talk about gayness all the time, portray myself constantly as a victim, corporate America cuts my paycheck, and when any gay person stands next to me they look good in comparison. Got it!

Another thing you hear about on right-wing websites, but never in gay media, is Michael Swift's essay "Gay Revolutionary". In 1987, Swift wrote a humorous angry article in the Boston "Gay Community News" 'zine. (Note: one could almost say the essay was "Swiftian", one could). Now, over twenty years later, god-flogging bigots are repeating Swift's words as if the poor guy was serious. I hope that one of my posts is taken out of context for years to come... it's a form of immortality by morons.

Parts of the article were even printed in the "Congressional Record" without a disclaimer from the author that he wrote that the essay is intended as "outré, madness, a tragic, cruel fantasy, an eruption of inner rage, on how the oppressed desperately dream of being the oppressor", hinting that it is not to be taken literally. Here is a sample of Swift's humor from "Gay Revolutionary":

"We shall sodomize your sons, emblems of your feeble masculinity, of your shallow dreams and vulgar lies. We shall seduce them in your schools, in your dormitories, in your gymnasiums, in your locker rooms, in your sports arenas, in your seminaries, in your youth groups, in your movie theater bathrooms, in your army bunkhouses, in your truck stops, in your all male clubs, in your houses of Congress, wherever men are with men together. Your sons shall become our minions and do our bidding. They will be recast in our image. They will come to crave and adore us.

Women, you cry for freedom. You say you are no longer satisfied with men; they make you unhappy. We, connoisseurs of the masculine face, the masculine physique, shall take your men from you then. We will amuse them; we will instruct them; we will embrace them when they weep. Women, you say you wish to live with each other instead of with men. Then go and be with each other. We shall give your men pleasures they have never known because we are foremost men too, and only one man knows how to truly please another man; only one man can understand the depth and feeling, the mind and body of another man.

All laws banning homosexual activity will be revoked. Instead, legislation shall be passed which engenders love between men.

All homosexuals must stand together as brothers; we must be united artistically, philosophically, socially, politically and financially. We will triumph only when we present a common face to the vicious heterosexual enemy.

If you dare to cry faggot, fairy, queer, at us, we will stab you in your cowardly hearts and defile your dead, puny bodies.

We shall write poems of the love between men; we shall stage plays in which man openly caresses man; we shall make films about the love between heroic men which will replace the cheap, superficial, sentimental, insipid, juvenile, heterosexual infatuations presently dominating your cinema screens. We shall sculpt statues of beautiful young men, of bold athletes which will be placed in your parks, your squares, your plazas. The museums of the world will be filled only with paintings of graceful, naked lads.

Our writers and artists will make love between men fashionable and de rigueur, and we will succeed because we are adept at setting styles. We will eliminate heterosexual liaisons through usage of the devices of wit and ridicule, devices which we are skilled in employing.

We will unmask the powerful homosexuals who masquerade as heterosexuals. You will be shocked and frightened when you find that your presidents and their sons, your industrialists, your senators,your mayors, your generals, your athletes, your film stars, your television personalities, your civic leaders, your priests are not the safe, familiar, bourgeois, heterosexual figures you assumed them to be. We are everywhere; we have infiltrated your ranks. Be careful when you speak of homosexuals because we are always among you; we may be sitting across the desk from you; we may be sleeping in the same bed with you.

There will be no compromises. We are not middle-class weaklings. Highly intelligent, we are the natural aristocrats of the human race, and steely-minded aristocrats never settle for less. Those who oppose us will be exiled.

We shall raise vast private armies, as Mishima did, to defeat you. We shall conquer the world because warriors inspired by and banded together by homosexual love and honor are invincible as were the ancient Greek soldiers.

The family unit-spawning ground of lies, betrayals, mediocrity, hypocrisy and violence--will be abolished. The family unit, which only dampens imagination and curbs free will, must be eliminated. Perfect boys will be conceived and grown in the genetic laboratory. They will be bonded together in communal setting, under the control and instruction of homosexual savants.

All churches who condemn us will be closed. Our only gods are handsome young men. We adhere to a cult of beauty, moral and esthetic. All that is ugly and vulgar and banal will be annihilated. Since we are alienated from middle-class heterosexual conventions, we are free to live our lives according to the dictates of the pure imagination. For us too much is not enough.

The exquisite society to emerge will be governed by an elite comprised of gay poets. One of the major requirements for a position of power in the new society of homoeroticism will be indulgence in the Greek passion. Any man contaminated with heterosexual lust will be automatically barred from a position of influence. All males who insist on remaining stupidly heterosexual will be tried in homosexual courts of justice and will become invisible men.

"We shall rewrite history, history filled and debased with your heterosexual lies and distortions. We shall portray the homosexuality of the great leaders and thinkers who have shaped the world. We will demonstrate that homosexuality and intelligence and imagination are inextricably linked, and that homosexuality is a requirement for true nobility, true beauty in a man.

"We shall be victorious because we are fueled with the ferocious bitterness of the oppressed who have been forced to play seemingly bit parts in your dumb, heterosexual shows throughout the ages. We too are capable of firing guns and manning the barricades of the ultimate revolution.

Tremble, hetero swine, when we appear before you without our masks."
You can tell the guy is having fun, right? That this article is no more serious that any other fed-up screed that we've all written late at night after a long day of suffering under heterosexual priviledge? That instead of picking up a baseball bat, some gay men pick up a pen and pick up attitude and write in private what they are unable to say openly in public? No? Well, maybe it's just me then...

And according to Betty Bowers ("America's Best Christian"), here is the real gay agenda:

8:00 a.m. Wake up. Wonder where you are.

8:01 a.m. Realize you are lying on 100 percent cotton sheets of at least a 300 count, so don't panic; you're not slumming.

8:02 a.m. Realize you are actually in your own bed for a change. Wake stranger next to you and tell them you are late for work so won't be able to cook breakfast for them. Mutter "sorry" as you help him look for his far-flung underwear. You find out that you tore his boxers while ripping them off him last night, so you "loan" him a pair of boxer-briefs, but not the new ones because you never intend to see him again.

8:05 a.m. Tell the stranger, whose name eludes you, "It was fun. I'll give you a call," as you usher him out the door, avoiding his egregious morning-breath.

8:06 a.m. Crumple and dispose of the piece of paper with his telephone number on it when you get to the kitchen.

(rest snipped, read it for yourself...)

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That this article is no more serious that any other fed-up screed that we've all written late at night after a long day of heterosexual oppression.

1987 in Boston? 'Heterosexual oppression' doesn't even cover what was filling this man's long days: he was surviving seeing his whole extended circle of friends die, going to funerals every weekend, and having the obits page in the gay mag be pages and pages and pages long -- while the straight world ignored or shunned the problem.

Anger! Act up! Yeah, in the eighties, I loved to read "Diseased Pariah News": the 'zine that dared to say, "The blood of thousands of AIDS victims? Why, Mr. President, you're soaking in it!" Where is that fury now? I mean, sure, there's Larry Kramer, but he's almost a parody of his former self. Check out this "gay agenda" from 1972:


It's interesting to see what topics were important at that time: age of consent laws, security clearances for federal workers, government collection of data on gay people, and gay sexual offenders in prison. We don't hear about those issues so much anymore. Also, no mention is made back then about transgender issues.

Edited at 2009-03-12 12:21 am (UTC)

Yes, I read the Turner Diaries years ago. When I was in college, I had a job at the shore and shared a house with student workers from Bob Jones U. Really. The "chaperone" was a BJU minister who'd authored a similar novel. Something about the armies of Israel rising up, yadda.

I'm kinda sorry I threw away my auto'd copy, but I had my fill of it all. I still can't decide whether I'm more appalled at the content or the truly bad writing.

In my queer politics class we spend time examining the Christian Right's marketing methods, which vary depending on whether it's direct-mail or generic. Direct-mail always goes for the Gay.

I have a weird fantasy of making a movie version of the Turner Diaries. I don't know if "playing it straight" would let people see how ridiculous and bathetic it is.

I've heard of all three works :)

As for Betty Bowers take on our agenda-I don't know about the rest of you guys, but I don't own a set of sheets under 500 count, and all egyptian cotton; so, if I woke up on 300 count, well, I'd know I wasn't home and there'd be hell to pay if I woke up on a cotton/poly blend. Besides, usually I'm the one exiting-normally right after the act, dumping the phone number in the trash basket by the elevator as I desparately push the button to make the elevator magically come quickly.

So, um, do ya wanna come over for a date sometime? {grin}

What'd ya have in mind-although, the last time you saw me, I wasn't in the best shape :)

Well, you sounded so charming with your after-date behavior! I was joking about a date (but only somewhat joking).

I don't have 500-thread-count sheets, but you could come over and stain them...

In my twenties I was infamous for that and worse-sometimes the number didn't make it to the wastebasket by the elevator no matter how hot or good they were. I was just a terrible human being, and that's kind of what made me fun and popular I guess.

As for staining sheets-why waste wonderful bodily fluids when ya can shoot it inside rubber gear and let you slide around in it and combine with sweat (ok, I'm just being a little dirty right now, don't mind me)...

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She's a comedian! Check out her web site. God loves her more than God loves you.

let's start with "victim" - if you begged to be tied up and flogged, it's tough to claim victimhood. As for the rest of it, I'd be happy to support the whole pro-homo agenda. Some of it may have been written in a sort of dick-in-cheek tone, but it all sounded pretty good to me.....

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Marshall Kirk is also in the "conservapedia", the right-wing answer to knowledge. Here is what they say about Mr. Kirk:

"Marshall Kirk died in 2005 at the age of 48. The cause of death has not been publicly revealed."

Get it? Get it? They insinuate he died of AIDS. 'Cause, you know, he's GAY, and everybody who's gay dies of AIDS, so you can discount their viewpoints and viewpoints entirely.

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Exactly! But the "conservapedia" leaves *all* of that out. It's a sick way of hinting at something.

This explains so much about where they're coming from. No wonder they oppose any little bit of equality that we look for. They think it's part of a take-over.

So they must be scouring gay newspapers looking for anything they can take out of context and use for propoganda. I hope that papers know enough to be careful with sarcasm.

So how do we set their minds at ease? If they're so paranoid in their belief that there's a conspiracy then any attempt to show that there isn't will seen to be a trick.

I, for one, support the part about seducing their sons in locker rooms and army bunkhouses.

"We will eliminate heterosexual liaisons through usage of the devices of wit and ridicule..."

Gods, if only it were so easy. We would rule the world!

Yeah, but nothing beats Semiotext(e)'s screed on man-boy love. Best feature: they printed it in 24 point type.

They used "denounced on the floor of the U.S. Senate" in all future subscription appeals.

Someday i would like to be denounced on the floor of the U.S. Senate, Sir

So let me get this straight....

The Christian Right is all up in arms about literature that discusses spreading hegemeny and taking over the world?? They object to this, do they?

Have they forgotten about the Magna Carta?

I own an editor's proof copy of "After The Ball". It was handed to me by a professor who said "I can't review this, it's AWFUL. Here, you take it so you can see what NOT to write!"


I'd like to buy a copy of "After The Ball". Even at $50! And even if it's badly written... at least the authors were on *our* side.

That's what I find hilarious about christian conspiracy theories about a gay agenda: you can't get five gay guys together in a room and get them all to agree on toppings for a pizza, much less a complicated political agenda. And if you throw lesbians into the room, well, you probably can't even agree to have pizza in the first place!

Your feeble attempts at humor regarding my organic, lactose-challenged, gluten-free, vegan localvore diet are oppressing me!!!!!

It's enough to make us wish it were TRUE!

"The Gay Agenda, brought to you by David Geffen and the Pink Mafia"

have you watched www.silencingchristians.com yet?

they're all over 'after the ball.' i wrote about it in this advocate piece that posted last week.

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